Coping With Crossdressing

Essays & Strategies for dealing with crossdressing issues.

Divorce & The Transvestite

By Denise Mason and M. (her S.O.)

Denise Speaks...
Over 50% of all marriages end in divorce. That is a most common and unfortunate statistic. Yet nowhere in that sentence did you see the word "transvestite," but you did see the word "all." More than 50% of marriages fail, whether the male is a TV or not, whether the wife knows or not, whether the interaction between TV husband and wife is there or not.
You might think that because I was married for 25 years and my wife knew and participated with me in my crossdressing activities, that I would have all the answers, right? Wrong. I thought I had "done it right." I was up front and honest. Yet, after 25 years, I ended up divorced. I am one of those "over 50%" statistics, and not because I am a crossdresser, but just because I was married.
After my first wife announced she wanted a divorce, I was involved with a Divorce Support group for over four years. I found that 90% of all failed marriages did so for two reasons: substance abuse (alcohol & drugs) or infidelity. Crossdressing was not high on the list of other reasons.
Regardless of the statistics, I did not want to spend the rest of my life alone. I decided that if I had to tell every woman I dated that I was a crossdresser, I would. Why? Because if I were to remarry and if I were to divorce again, it would not be because I was a transvestite. I've been remarried now for seven years to a super woman. So, may I introduce my wife... M.

M. Speaks...
I am Denise's Significant Other. I met "Mike" at a divorce support group over seven years ago. At that time, my marriage of 24 years was coming to an end.
Mike and I developed a friendship that was very supportive. We both feel that we couldn't have gotten through our respective divorces without the other. As our friendship grew (particularly in the first few months) I noticed Mike had a particular interest in women's clothing, my appearance and makeup.
As our friendship deepened, he kept saying, "You don't really know me." Then, one evening, he told me that he was a transvestite and explained what that meant. He showed me his photo album of Denise. I remember looking at the album and saying, "Oh!!" and nothing more. (I also remember on the way over to his house that night praying that whatever he told I would be able to accept.)
Within a month or two we went from pictures to an actual appearance by Denise. I stared and stared and stared. Gradually, I began to realize that Denise and Mike were one and the same wonderful person. Both were loving and supportive to me. We saw our relationship growing from friendship toward love with a potential for marriage. We both went for a few sessions of counseling to make sure all the issues had been addressed (including my acceptance of Denise) and that both of us had been honest in all areas. It took five years of communication to accomplish all of this and we're not done yet. We're still growing.
Yes, we were married and remain happily so. We truly communicate on many levels. There are many qualities about Denise for which I feel truly blessed. The common thread which has to run through any marriage is open and honest communication. We have that. Denise and I have the common ordinary problems other couples have, but we also have something others don't: a chance to be who we really are and to truly support one another. There is acceptance, encouragement, and a whole new world that has opened for me. I feel that rather than be any cause for divorce, being married to a TV is very rewarding and nurturing.
In my eyes, Denise is "one hell of a woman." It's not the clothes or the makeup. It's the person s/he really is deep inside. Denise always says that she is the same person crossdressed or not. I thank her and love her for all of that.

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